Ok so I’ve realised that I only every come to Tumblr when I’m happy or depressed. There is no grey area with me apparently. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me this week, serious state of depression! I need to tidy stuff. And clean stuff. And go to the gym. And be on holiday.
And I’ve just sent a mini rambling essay to him..jeez what a sad act I am. I don’t think we’ve got to the point where I can just spill all of my pointless, meaningless bullshit on him..its not fair on him! And I just did. WOW way to go.
And here I am doing it again! Whats with this self-deprecating BS?! I even annoy myself for God’s sake! I absolutely hate it when people are self pitying when they’ve got it so good and others have it so bad…and here I am doing exactly the same! I just need to man the fuck up but I can’t seem to shake this feeling right now.
And for the first time in a long time, I feel fat. But its not just fat just generally gross. And spotty and yucky and urgh. I don’t feel good about myself. I hate that! Because I haven’t felt like this in such a long time! The ultimate downside to a diet is beginning to analyse every lump, every bump, every bit of cellulite, every inch of stretch marks..becoming incredibly critical of yourself.
He makes me feel good though, he really does. I like that he doesn’t deal with my BS and just tells me to man up. Because that’s what I need <3
Chill yourself, bitch. <3